17 June 2008

wow, is this stuff old

Thursday, July 12, 2007

I heart tourists
Current mood: amused


Quote of The Day:

Three guys walk into a bar in galveston and ask "Do you have margarita flavored margaritas?"

This quote brought to you by your friends at the department of redundancy department.


4:46 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment



Tuesday, July 10, 2007

potterific
Current mood: dorky

so i have to work tomorrow. And it should be a fairly busy day... So i should be asleep right now. But instead i'm sitting in a movie theater in houston waiting for harry potter to start. I think it's worth it. I'll let you know for sure tomorrow.

9:36 PM - 5 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment



Saturday, June 30, 2007

quote of the day
Current mood: chipper

Tara: my breasts are great! Somebody should play with them!

6:38 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment


first post
Current mood: bouncy

holy crap this thing is shiny. Performs just like advertised. Did i mention the shiny part?

6:37 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment



Friday, June 29, 2007

why I have no willpower
Current mood: ecstatic

one word. iphone.

5:26 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment



Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Chome, Chome, Chome..... bop-bop-a-lu-bop....Chome


The Toaster Song

Toaster, Oh Toaster You toast my bread just right

Toaster, Oh Toaster, You toast both day and nght

You toast it light, You toast it dark

Toast for a nice walk in the park

Toaster, oh Toaster, you toast my bread just right



Toaster, Oh toaster, you toast my bread so well

Opponents of my toaster can all just go to hell

With white, with wheat, with bagel round

I pick you up and can't put you down

Toaster, Oh toaster, you toast my bread so well



You make my bread so golden brown

I like to puch your lever down

And then I hear your dinging sound

You make me smile when I might frown



Toaster, oh Toaster I love your shiny chrome

Toaster, oh toaster, you look good in my home

Your cord it goes right in a plug

To me you are just like a drug

Toaster, oh Toaster I love your shiny chrome



Toaster, oh Toaster, I love your toasted bread

You are my only toaster when all is done and said

I'll never cheat, but if I will

It might be with that Foreman Grill (tm)

Toaster, Oh toaster, I love your toasted Bread



Your are the highlight of my morn

I wish that you could toast some corn

It is to you my love is sworn

I sometimes look at toaster porn....



Toaster, Oh Toaster You toast my bread just right

Toaster, Oh Toaster, You toast both day and nght

You toast it light, You toast it dark

Toast for a nice walk in the park

Toaster, oh Toaster, you toast my bread just right



5 points to anyone who recognizes where the subject of this blog comes from.


12:20 PM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment



Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Glass Pants and other musings


The deep philosophical question of the day is... if it is possible to burn someone in effigy, is it also possible to bake someone in effigy? And if so, does the effigy have to remain intact.... say someone... hypothetically of course.. were to make a bust of George Bush entirely out of meatloaf (I can get you a picture, hypothetically) and then squish the sculpture into a loaf shape and then bake it, would it still somehow contain the spirit of georgy boy? This is all assuming of course that Grandpa Simpson was right in that creating an image of someone captures them somehow ("You've stolen my soh-uhl!)

And now for something completely different:

Here's the lyrics to Glass Pants (to the tune of Save the Last dance)

Oh you know, how I love your ass
when it's encased in glass it shines just like a star
But you danced, while you wore glass pants
last night at the bar

Oh please don't wear those pants out, where all the guys are gonna see.
Oh darlin, save the glass pants for me

How I love, that they fit like a glove
they're molded to your butt
And how I care, bought Kevlar underwear
so you would not get cut

So please don't wear those pants out
I'm asking you on bended knee
Oh darlin, save the glass pants for me

I made them so that when you pee
They've got a little slot
Your golden showers over me
It makes me oh so hot

So please remember in whose face
it is that you are gonna pee
Oh darlin, save the glass pants for me
Whoa-whoa-whoa darlin, Save the glass pants for me
Oh yeah, darlin, save the glass pants for me.



11:39 AM - 4 Comments - 5 Kudos - Add Comment



Thursday, June 21, 2007

New Song

yes, that's right... another new song will be premiering this sunday at Gravity during the standup portion of the show. This one is a sweet little tune about love , jealousy, and chickens. Pretty soon I'll remember to either somehow record and post them aor at least put up the lyrics...

8:13 AM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment



Monday, May 28, 2007

people who wear glass pants, etc.

Ok, so the newest song to add to the lineup is Glass Pants, a sweet song about jealousy and buttocks. Come hear the premier this wednesday at The Lounge in Galveston

6:18 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment



Monday, May 14, 2007

Toaster, oh Toaster, you toast my bread just right.
Current mood: accomplished


Coming soon to a blog near you....

The Toaster Song

The Apple Pi Blues

Amadillo in Mourning.

3 exciting new songs by yours truly. To hear them, simply type "maps.google.com" into your web browser, figure out how to get your happy butt to Galveston, and come to one of my comedy shows... every sunday night at Gravity on the Strand, and starting next week, every 1st and 3rd wednesday at Boomba (The Lounge) also on the Strand.


11:09 AM - 2 Comments - 1 Kudos - Add Comment

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